When the comments on a piece aren't too noxious to bother with, they're sometimes more interesting than the piece itself. Which brings us to one of the commenters on an older post about Internalized Trans-Phobia, who remarked that "while technically I'm a 'trans girl' according to my medical record I don't identify as trans, I don't even see it as part of me; it's just something on my medical record." She objected to the way that people sometimes tell her that she has internalized transphobia and shouldn't be so ashamed of who she is.
Not knowing the person or anything about her situation, I obviously can't say whether these people have a point or not (though, even if they do, I still object on principle to them trying to tell her how she thinks and feels). Regardless, it's possible that she doesn't want to identify as trans because, at least on some level, she still thinks of that as something dirty, inferior, unnatural, or sinful. It's possible that she's uncomfortable at the idea of being associated with those who don't blend in as gracefully as she seems to. It's possible that she hasn't been able to fully accept her past and the journey it took to reach her present. It's possible that she's simply taking a head-in-the-sand approach, as though it can't affect her if she doesn't acknowledge it. It's possible, in short, that they're right.
On the other hand, maybe she doesn't think of herself as trans because, to her, that means experiencing crippling gender dysphoria, while she has successfully transitioned and doesn't feel much, if any, dysphoria any more. Maybe she simply appreciates that there aren't any particularly meaningful physical, much less social, differences between a medically transitioned transgender woman and a cisgender woman not of childbearing potential. Maybe she just regards her male birth designation as little more than medical trivia, with no more bearing on her current life than baby teeth. Maybe, as she writes, she genuinely believes that any distinction that may exist between cis and trans women doesn't matter, and no attention should be paid to it. If so, fair enough. I wish I could agree, but...
The problem is that it does matter, far too much and to far too many people.
Those people making a big fuss about "trannies" and "freaks" and "abominations" and "affronts to nature"? They're talking about her, too, and she's just fooling herself if she thinks otherwise. Those laws they're trying to pass about who can use what bathrooms, and the places where it's already perfectly legal to discriminate in employment, housing, and other arenas based solely on someone's gender identity or expression, or the assumptions that other people make about them? That means her, too. Those marchers holding up signs insisting that "God hates fags"? They'll lump her in with all the others and condemn her straight to hell, never mind that gender and sexuality aren't even the same thing. And, obviously, anyone who believes that people are whatever their chromosomes say they are, no matter what, isn't about to make any allowances for her.
To her, it may be just a note on a medical record, but the world won't leave it at that.
Maybe she had supportive parents and was able to socially transition early enough that she never had to worry about schoolmates regarding her as a boy. Maybe she got on hormone blockers early enough to avoid going through a testosterone-driven puberty. Maybe hormone therapy worked out so well for her that she can approximate an ideal of feminine beauty. Maybe she's had such skillful genital surgery that even a gynecologist can't tell her nether bits didn't grow that way on their own, not that that's anyone else's business. Maybe all her legal documents identify her as female. For whatever combination of reasons, maybe she can make it through her adult life without anyone knowing that she was designated male at birth, and thereby avoid the worst of the bigotry that's out there.
But if the wrong person finds out about her past? She'll be accused of maliciously trying to hide it, even if she's never done anything more than not mention it when it's not immediately relevant. And you can count on there being some people who will make every effort they can to use that against her.
Some people will call her neurotic or delusional. Some will publicly scorn her. Some employers will decide she's not worth the trouble. Some people she thought of as friends will turn against her. Some potential romantic interests will accuse her of trying to "trick" them into sleeping with a "man", even if there's nothing the least bit masculine about her. Some women will accuse her of making a farcical attempt to invade their spaces for diabolical reasons. Some parents will react with paranoia any time she gets anywhere near their children, on the unfounded assumption that she's likely to be a sexual predator. Some people may go as far as stalking and harassing her, and some may even want to kill her, and they'll be chillingly serious when they insist that she's the one at fault. However noble the content of her character may be, whatever she may have accomplished, however harmless she may have proven herself, none of that will make a difference to such people. Whether she regards herself as trans or not will matter even less.
As far as an uncomfortably and disproportionately vocal and influential minority are concerned, she might as well be Hannibal Lecter in a sundress (even if she never wears dresses). It's noxious and twisted and nonsensical, but it's the way things are, at least for now.
And it's not just those in her situation who may have reason to worry about such things. Many people who do identify with their birth-assigned gender simply don't fit societal expectations for what a man or woman is "supposed" to be like. Someone who has issues with trans people isn't likely to bother making the distinction, and trans women are in fact often dismissed as "men in dresses" regardless of how feminine they may be. Likewise, someone who, for instance, objects to men wearing skirts as not "normal" is likely to object to men kissing men as not "normal", and neither appreciate nor care that these are otherwise unrelated. And even people who objectively meet these largely arbitrary standards of "normal" aren't necessarily safe from hasty conclusion-jumping and mistaken assumptions. Discrimination, ironically, often isn't terribly discriminating.
That's why trans rights and acceptance ought to matter not just to those who identify as trans, not even just to those whose designated birth gender doesn't match the reality of their lives, but to essentially everyone. As long as masculinity and femininity are regarded as opposites and inescapable absolutes, anyone who deviates in any way from the stereotypes, or is so much as suspected of doing so, is at risk.
We can do better.
The bulk of court rulings in recent years agree. "The court is joining a growing consensus of courts that recognize the inclusion and common humanity of transgender students", noted Ria Mar, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania, which helped argue the case. As Mar points out in an editorial, currently available on the Philadelphia Inquirer's website:
Changing clothes in front of classmates of any gender can be uncomfortable. Modern educators understand this. That's why many high schools, including Boyertown's, have recently created spaces to change that truly are private, including individual stalls and curtained areas within common spaces as well as single-user restrooms. These spaces are available for any student who chooses to use them for any reason. But the students involved in the lawsuit say they do not want to change in these private areas. Instead, the lawsuit claims a constitutional right to undress in front of other students—just not students who are transgender.I said as much when I first commented on the case:
That's a fundamental misinterpretation of what privacy means.
[T]he possibility of any of the other dozens of students in the room eyeing [initial plaintiff] Joel [Doe] simply doesn't concern him, somehow. It would be easy enough to infer that, but I don't even need to—the official complaint states it outright: "Joel Doe, Mary Smith, Jack Jones, and Macy Roe do not object to students of the same sex using private facilities with them, and welcomes them no matter how they self-identify their gender, and they have no expectation of privacy from such students" (emphasis added). Based on that, the school could throw [transgender boys] T and Aidan in with the girls, and even if they spent the whole time gawking, none of the plaintiffs would care. And if some genetic male—cis boy, trans girl, nonbinary, gay, straight, bi, ace, or whatever—were staring at Joel the whole time he was changing, or if dozens of them crowded around to watch, that would be no cause for complaint either. They could even film the whole thing if they wanted to, and their superficial anatomical similarity to Joel would make that perfectly acceptable to him. That is what "no expectation of privacy" means, isn't it? Yet the plaintiffs do have a problem with people simply going about their business and using the facilities appropriately without paying undue attention to anyone or causing any trouble, solely because of certain biological differences that they're never going to have cause to observe or otherwise interact with in any way. Call me crazy, but if you're genuinely interested in protecting your, or anyone else's, personal privacy, this not only makes no sense but is completely backwards.As Mar has stated, "the solution is exactly what the school has done here—to make private arrangements available to all students and not to banish transgender students and send the message that who they are is unacceptable."
If you feel uncomfortable—for whatever reason—changing in front of other people—whoever they may be—you use a private stall. It really is that simple.
Of course, not everyone is happy about this, otherwise there wouldn't have been a lawsuit in the first place. "Here we actually have a policy that's inviting the very conduct we're concerned about", claimed Randall Wenger, an attorney from Alliance Defending Freedom, which news outlets keep neglecting to point out is not merely conservative but a notorious anti-LGBT hate group. It's unclear what conduct he's referring to, since no misbehavior by anyone of any gender has so much as been alleged. Maligning transgender people with inaccurate claims about them and the threat they supposedly pose, not to mention suing the school district over a perfectly reasonable policy, are the most concerning conduct I've heard anything about in connection to the case. Those presumably aren't what Wenger meant, given that ADF has taken lead roles in both activities. Which is a large part of what makes it a hate group.
Alexis Lightcap, a senior at the school, has also vocally objected to the outcome. Like Mar, she has written an editorial that is currently available on the Philadelphia Inquirer's website (the site, incidentally, has links between both editorials and the news article, presumably in the name of balance). While I could probably find something to critique in every paragraph if I tried, let's just stick to some of the lines that particularly stood out to me.
I was a junior in high school when I ducked into the girls' room at school one day to find ... a boy [sic]. [ellipsis in original]From the sound of that, she's presumably the plaintiff known as "Mary Smith", whom the lawsuit purports was distressed when she "saw a male student washing hands in the sink". As I've already commented, she's never offered any explanation as to why she assumed the student was male, much less how something so innocuous—"almost painfully mundane", in Mar's words—could disturb her so deeply. Honestly, I'd be more upset to see a student neglecting to wash their hands, whoever they were.
A boy at our school was in the middle of changing clothes in the boys' locker room when he looked up to see a girl [sic] changing her [sic] clothes nearby.Allegedly. Other available facts surrounding the case suggest that while the trans boy he implicated does exist, the incident as described almost certainly never happened. Even if it did, though, what was he doing watching other people changing? If he was so uncomfortable, why didn't he opt to use one of the more private options that the school has provided? And what, exactly, is supposed to be the big deal, anyway?
How natural would you feel, having someone of the opposite sex standing next to you—or your child—while you change clothes or go to the bathroom?How natural do you feel guiding two tons of metal along a paved surface in speeds far exceeding the fastest Olympic sprinters? How natural are things like modern medicine, food distribution, and heating and cooling? Let's not forget computers and the Internet, either. People do things that are far from "natural" all the time, typically without a second thought. To paraphrase a comment I vaguely remember seeing elsewhere, if your primary concern is what's natural, feel free to go live in the woods, hunt animals with a pointy stick, and die of dysentery before reaching middle age.
The question shouldn't be how natural you feel, but why you feel any discomfort that you do, and whether that discomfort is in any way justified or merely springs from prejudice. Discomfort can even be productive. So while whether you feel natural in any given situation may be worth considering, it doesn't mean much on its own.
According to the people on the blogs and at the microphones . . . [we] must be bigots, or religious extremists . . . I guess it's always easier to label people than to think about where they're coming from.I've thought plenty about where she and the others are coming from. All signs point to a place of fear and ignorance. While I feel more pity than scorn for them, that doesn't make their attempts to curtail other people's rights for the sake of their misplaced sense of comfort any more acceptable.
Aidan DeStefano, a young trans man who recently graduated from the school, had similar thoughts. "I understand what they're saying, but until they step into my body they have no idea what they're talking about."
On the other hand, I'm not convinced that she has thought about where she's coming from. I'm reminded of when Education Secretary Betsy DeVos called it "hurtful" to be "criticized for not upholding the rights of students" despite her track record of failing to uphold the rights of students, or when White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders complained that being considered a liar "bothers" her. Likewise, although Lightcap's motives remain unknowable, her words and deeds are entirely consistent with bigotry and religious extremism. All three of them might want to reconsider what they're doing if they can't handle criticism that befits their actions.
[I]t's not like I don't know what it's like to be different, or can't understand someone who has a hard time speaking up for their rights.Good for her? I'm not sure how that's in any way relevant, though, unless...
But that doesn't make me any more comfortable having my privacy invaded or knowing the bathroom door is open to anyone who wants to come in....it's just a ploy to give the impression of empathizing, while avoiding the messy details of attempting to actually empathize. I guess it's always easier to label people than to think about where they're coming from.
Once again, I've yet to find any explanation from her of how she feels her privacy has been invaded. There's no privacy involved in washing hands. The bathroom door, similarly, is physically no easier to open than it ever was, and as far as authorized access goes, "open to anyone" remains a peculiar way to describe a policy that only applies to a handful of people.
I don't have a problem sharing a bathroom with someone who identifies as transgender—provided they are the same sex I am.Which excludes transgender women and girls, but includes transgender men and boys, such as DeStefano. Her statement is specifically inviting certain boys to share the bathroom with her. This is coming from someone who also said, in a live press conference after the decision was announced, "It's common sense that boys shouldn't be in girls' locker rooms, restrooms, and shower areas". Basically, all she's doing here is denying that "identifies as transgender" is in any way meaningful, as though such an identification were necessarily delusional if not outright malevolent. She apparently also believes that she can accurately sex anyone on sight.
And this kind of attitude is already causing problems, for a number of people who are not transgender as well as for many who are. Take, for example, Jessica Rush, who was followed into a restroom and confronted (by a man, no less) for not looking sufficiently unambiguously womanly. Or Jessie Meehan, who was told she had to use the men's room in a Walgreens after being deemed too masculine. Or Aimee Toms, who was assumed to be transgender and harassed in a Walmart restroom apparently due to her pixie haircut. Or the unnamed woman who was dragged out of a ladies' room by (male) police officers, despite having friends there to vouch for her.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that so many cisgender woman are affected, considering how relatively rare trans people are. However many trans women have a deep voice, or conspicuous muscles, or whatever other observable trait that might lead people to believe they are trans, there are bound to be at least as many non-trans women with the same trait. Yes, even facial hair (a common symptom of polycystic ovary syndrome).
Not that correctly identifying a trans woman makes this sort of behavior any more appropriate. Consider the California congressional hopeful who obliterated any pretense of caring about privacy by publicly livestreaming from a restaurant bathroom while she harassed a presumably trans woman who was out of sight and out of relevance in one of the stalls. Would there have been an issue at all if she had just gone about her business and simply used another stall, like most people would have done? Would there have been an issue at Boyertown if the purportedly distressed students had done much the same?
Besides, what common sense says, as far as I'm concerned, is that if privacy is really so important, the facilities ought to be sufficiently private that it simply doesn't matter who uses them. As I understand it, that's essentially what the school is making an effort to do. Trying to police who goes where, though, just creates additional problems while doing nothing for privacy itself.
I do have trouble with a policy that says anyone who's in an opposite-sex mood today can stroll in and observe me in my intimate moments—It doesn't say that. It doesn't say that anyone can observe anyone in any intimate moments. That has nothing to do with anything, never has, and never will, regardless of how popular it may be as a red herring.
The rest of the editorial goes on in much the same vein, mostly in a positive form of ad hominem that attempts to win sympathy for her position by framing her as sympathetic, without doing much of anything to support the position itself.
In comments outside of the editorial, Lightcap has similarly claimed, "Instead of listening to my concerns, they made me feel like I was the problem for feeling uncomfortable, unsafe and vulnerable with a boy [sic] in the bathroom." Having concerns, or feeling uncomfortable, unsafe, or vulnerable, do not make a person a problem. However, while these reactions may be real in the sense of being experienced deeply and sincerely, they do not reflect an accurate understanding of the situation (to paraphrase a line from Michael Kimmel in Angry White Men). Having unfounded concerns, or feeling uncomfortable, unsafe, or vulnerable when there is no genuine threat, typically do mean that a person has a problem. Still, that's normal enough. I've never met anyone who didn't have some issues to get over. Therapy and introspection may be able to help.
Having issues wouldn't be such a problem, though, if more people were willing to keep these issues out of other people's business. It's when they wield their hangups against other people, rather than acknowledging their issues as being theirs to deal with, that they become the problem. Just as Lightcap herself said at the press conference, "Every student matters"—which necessarily includes the transgender ones—"and a school should put our privacy, safety, and dignity first." By providing private spaces for everyone, doing nothing to compromise safety, and upholding the dignity of transgender students by recognizing them as their actual gender, the school has done exactly that. What will it take for the plaintiffs to do the same?
"And". It should be such a simple word.
Particularly for something written in a time when women were often considered little, if at all, better than property, that verse from Genesis makes a fascinating assertion. The image of God is not the sole domain of the male, nor, for that matter, of the female. Neither masculine nor feminine is better or more Godly. The man cannot say to the woman that he is more favored of God, nor the woman say to the man that nothing of God is in him. All are part of God's creation and exhibit facets of God's nature.
Created "in the image of God... male and female". Not only does this make neither inferior, it leads to the inescapable conclusion that the image of God is itself neither purely male nor purely female. This God is both and neither. We might even say that God... transcends gender.
So, how about some vaguely related can't/shouldn't words?
無理 (muri), also written むり or ムリ
Though it's sometimes translated as "impossible", calling something muri doesn't necessarily mean that it's outright impossible, nor that it's necessarily wrong as such. Such an action does, however, go beyond the limits of what is normal, acceptable, or sensible.
To recap, a controversy over a statue of a Confederate personage turned into an excuse to hold a white supremacist rally with an alarmingly Nazi bent ("Jews will not replace us", they chanted, as though it had anything to do with anything). As generally happens when people go looking for a fight, there was fighting, escalating to the point of a white supremacist deciding to drive a car through a crowd of counter-protesters, killing one and injuring several others. In the ensuing backlash, the alt-right has since leveled farfetched false flag accusations against both the organizer of the event and the driver of the car.